Parents are stressed enough without the childcare burden!

There’s enough stress on parents, without the childcare burden
Life with children is brilliant; but ultimately stressful. However, it is stress we put upon ourselves, constantly questioning our life choices, what we are teaching our children and above all, are we getting it right?
Now, I already have a big enough beef with society. If I stay at home, I’m a scrounger, or I have no ambition. If I go to work, I am a bad mum who doesn’t care about her child and is happy to just pass her onto any old person to bring them up. So don’t even get me started on that no-win situation. Next on my society hating hit list; the price of childcare.  Also, the fact that the less ambition and motivation you have to get a job and provide for your family, the more support you gets from the government, which I believe to be beyond ridiculous.
Mainly what upsets me is the lack of consideration from the government before deciding on how to share out the little childcare help available. They do not consider what families actually have to pay for; they just look at income. If they took away the cost of things that hardworking people have to pay for, i.e full price rent/mortgage, the cost of one car between two adults, council tax and utilities (the things that non-politicians cannot fiddle to make someone else pay for) I imagine they will be seriously startled when they realise just how little families are left with at the end of the month.
The startling truth is that full-time childcare costs minimum of £600, ranging up to well over a grand. This cost should certainly not outweigh the cost of rent or a mortgage, but in many households it taking over. Even part-time childcare can render working pointless. If we are rendering working pointless, all we are going to be left with is a country full of people staying at home and claiming benefits, because if you can get the same amount of money, or in some cases EVEN MORE by staying at home and doing nothing, why wouldn’t you? The problem is that this mindset has become far more widespread in recent years and is costing the government millions.
I am not saying that staying home with your children is a bad thing, in fact I think it is a wonderful thing if you can afford it. I just think it is a bad example to do it at the expense of someone else; it is setting a bad example. What I am saying is that parents who do work and want to work, deserve the help that other European parents are getting, because it is the only way we will get back on our feet as a country as the current system is holding parents back and facilitating laziness.

The Parent Trap!

If you managed to see The Tonight Programme last week on ITV ‘The Parent Trap’ you will have seen yet another report on the overwhelming cost of childcare.

You can’t seem to turn on the TV or radio these days without hearing more about the growing issues around childcare and the effect it is having upon families up and down the country.

The Parent Trap report again referred back to the Swedish system where families only spend 6% of their income on childcare compared to 27% in the UK. In Sweden they pay higher taxes in order to subsidise such things as their childcare system, but could that really work here in the UK especially in the current climate of cut backs and austerity?

The government though did this week announce plans to extend the 15 free hours nursery care to 2 year olds in some of Britain’s most deprived areas to ‘increase social mobility for children and adults’. It is definitely a step in the right direction but with the new changes to working tax credits and the hours you need to work to be eligible will it really benefit people?

The report also highlighted that it is not just the parents are suffering but the nurseries and childcare providers are too. Even when a child is entitled to the 15 free hours of funding it doesn’t actually cover the ‘real’ cost to the nursery or setting. It means that nurseries have to include the difference from what they receive in funding to the ‘real’ cost into their overall prices, therefore increasing the cost for people who require more than 15hrs a week or whose children are under 3.

It is so hard to put a price on childcare as what price do you put on leaving your child in the care of someone else? So, this isn’t a debate about whether childcare is right or wrong, or whether parents should stay home, as that just isn’t feasible for some people but more about what can be done to make it more flexible and affordable.

For anyone who did not see the programme this is a link to the report http://www.itv.com/news/2012-05-31/the-parent-trap-uk-pays-some-of-the-highest-childcare-costs-in-the-world/

CAN Parenting Vouchers - will they work?

So unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last few days, you will have heard all about Mr. Cameron & his plans to introduce parenting class vouchers, through the CAN Parent scheme.

Now I don’t know exactly where to start with this as there so many ideas running through my head!

I have to be honest though, the first thought that ran through my head was what a waste of money! It is estimated that the pilot scheme could cost £5 million when it launches in 3 different areas of the country – Middlesborough, Camden and north London. I think the reason for my initial reaction was what with the constant cuts to benefits and impending closures of Sure Start centre's, where is this money coming from? Surely, maintaining benefits and keeping the Sure Start centre's open would be a better use of resources? It just seems such a false economy to me, to stop one method of helping families to only start up a new scheme at more cost to the tax payer? I know the Sure Centre’s have been a bit hit & miss (my experience has only been positive & I found them a great resource when my boys were younger) but why have these amazing centre's with all the equipment, space and facilities to run these classes only to shut them at get outside organisations to run them? I just can’t quite get my head around it!

One of the outside organisations that will be running classes is the NCT. Now don’t get me wrong the NCT are an amazing resource & I have made many great friends through my contact with them, but let’s be realistic, the type of parents that need the help, in my humble opinion are not going to feel comfortable accessing classes through what is a predominately middle class establishment. I don’t think I am being snobby or controversial; I am just concerned that the families that need the help are well aware of the normal costs involved to join the NCT and even with the vouchers may feel intimidated about the other parents they may meet & that will just put them off.

This then takes me perfectly on to my next point & the more I am writing this the more I am tending to agree with Liz Fraser (you can read her full thoughts on the Daily Mail link below) who believes that this scheme is just a ‘sticking plaster’ for bigger societal problems. The families who really need this help are those that need support, jobs and confidence and classes which tell them what they are doing wrong and how to improve I don’t think will necessarily help. Going into a group setting to discuss what could be quite complex issues is not going to work for the majority, especially as the classes are voluntary. We all know it takes a brave step to acknowledge something is wrong and take the steps to fix it.

There are so many issues in our society today, the whole idea that helping parents with a few little classes will stop things like the riots happening, is again, in my humble opinion – bonkers! It is just throwing money at a problem, and we all know that never works. We need to step back and really look at what is going on within society and asking parents to pop into their local Boots and pick up some shiny vouchers I really do not think is not the solution!

The money going on this scheme which could run into hundreds of millions if Mr. Cameron gets his way and the scheme is rolled out nationwide I think could be much better spent, on things like flexible childcare to enable people to work & get back their self-respect and confidence, giving parents more help towards ever increasing childcare costs, youth programmes to help young people find work & give them the skills they so desperately need, the list goes on! All the stop & start and changing of policy is contributing to society’s issues as the left hand doesn’t know what the right is doing & just as one project is starting to make a difference it is stopped & a new one is created & all the hard work is undone.

I am not saying that anything positive won’t come from this scheme as there are always success stories, but I am yet to be convinced after reading many articles and watching news reports that this is the way forward!

So, what is your take on the whole thing? Would love to hear what you think!

The links below are to other articles/video clips that I have looked at before writing this blog post:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2143516/David-Camerons-100-parenting-class-Boots-vouchers-help-tackle-child-yobbery.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/9264712/Can-good-parenting-classes-ever-work.html

http://www.itv.com/news/story/2012-05-13/parenting-classes-vouchers-from-boots/

Summer Holiday Fun!

 The holidays are on their way, and we are all hopeful that all this rain is near an end and that sunshine is just around the next cloud.  It’s time to get out and play!  There are so many lovely day outs wherever you live from farm parks, to play barns to theme parks, but how about just spending some time in the garden or surrounding areas, instead of having to troop off in the car.  Here are some ideas to get you out and about!

• Hold an Olympics Sports Day.  You can run all sorts of events; an egg and spoon race, sack race, walking with a bean bag on their head, throwing the balls into a hoop, the list is endless.  Give out medals at the end for all participants (either the cheap ones you can buy at Tescos or some home-made ones made by you and your little ones with ribbons, shiny paper and pens.

• Do some gardening.  Buy some seeds, choose a patch in the garden, prepare the area, plant the seeds, put some plant markers next to them so you know what you’ve planted and water them.

• Go on a picnic.  Find a nice spot in the garden, pack up a lunch together, a blanket, a bat and ball and enjoy.  The great thing about a picnic at home is that you can pop back in doors for some ice lollies for pudding!

• Spend the day doing outdoor things.  Paint with water (when it dries you can repaint something new), make some leaf rubbing pictures with crayons, make mud pies and draw on paving slabs with chalk.

•  Build a Den.  Collect some sticks, old sheets and poles, and find a tree or just an area of the garden or patio with some tables and chairs to lay sheets over.  Depending on the age of your little ones will dictate how much you need to help.  Bring them out toasted marshmallows as a well-deserved treat once the den in built.

• Go on a treasure hunt – make a list of things to find such a leaves from specific trees (make sure you choose trees that are in your garden), a daisy, a dandelion etc.  Then send them off with their list and their crayon either in the garden or further afield with you trailing behind.  I usually finish the list with a chocolate coin and then plant a few along the way as we go.

• Go on a bug hunt.  Ask them to drawer a picture of any bugs they find and give them a name!

• Get out the sandpit.  Take off yoru shoes and socks, roll up your trousers and dig out the buckets.  Or if you’re feeling brave – let them bury your legs!

• Make a natural collage out of flowers, leaves and grass.  You can press them first under some heavy books and then glue them down to make pictures or cards.

• Play traditional games, hop-scotch, jacks, hula-hoop, skipping etc.

• Fly a kite.  If you have older children you could make the kite first. Google is full of sites telling you how.

• Get out the paddling pool.  Be sure to supervise younger children at all times.  (I know I’m ‘preaching to the converted’ but you I am a bit neurotic about these things!)

Summer and the holidays are a very special time for re-connecting to your children, instilling the values and behaviours that you deem important, and just simply enjoying the amazing little creatures that you have created.  So make memories and treasure every moment.  Enjoy!

Sally Hall is co-owner of Dorothy & Theodore (www.dorothyandtheodore.com).  For more ideas for the summer holidays (or to buy that sandpit!) check out www.dorothyandtheodore.com/blog.

Early Years Entitlement – Fair or unfair?

If you have children you will no doubt of heard of the Early Years Entitlement funding, just in case you haven’t the following paragraph is taken from the direct.gov site:

“All three and four year olds are entitled to 15 hours of free nursery education for 38 weeks of the year. This applies until they reach compulsory school age (the term following their fifth birthday). Free early education places are available at a range of early years settings including nursery schools and classes, children's centres, day nurseries, play groups and pre-schools and childminders” http://www.direct.gov.uk

There is also provision for 2 year olds if their parents are on low incomes or benefits and qualify in certain criteria. However, this has its own problems though as many nurseries are not offering these hours due to concerns that they won’t be able to cover costs. This is an interesting article I recently read on the subject:  http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/rss/1129125/Nurseries-keen-offer-places-two-year-olds-worry-cost/

Now, don’t get me wrong I am grateful for any assistance towards my ever raising childcare costs but there are few things that seem unfair to me!

Ok, let’s take for example my 2 boys and when their birthdays fall. My eldest was 3 in January 2011 and started to receive his funding from 1^st April 2011, my youngest will be 3 in July 2012 and start to receive his funding from September 2012 (subject to the rules at the time). However my issue is the length of time they each receive funding for. My eldest will start school this September at 4 ¾, and in theory my youngest will start in September 2014 just after his 4^th birthday, so by the time my eldest starts school he would have had nearly 18months worth of funding but my youngest who only just be 4 will only have received a year’s worth of funding.

According to the rules my youngest doesn’t actually reach compulsory school age until the term after his 5^th birthday which would actually make that September 2015 but he is eligible to start from September 2014. So, if I did wait for him to start school until the following year he would have had 2 years funding, but there are 2 reasons that I wouldn’t keep him ‘back’ to the following year i) most importantly I want him to go to school with his friends from nursery and his peers ii) childcare fees, even with the funding costs are extortionate, so to find the money for another year would be hard.

I am sure I am not the only parent is this position, and like me there now more & more people that don’t qualify for any type of child tax credits to help towards the costs of childcare. Let’s look at it another way, a situation I know many friends are in. There are 2 children one born June 2008 and one born January 2008. Both mums stay at home because they can’t afford childcare and are just about coping on their partner’s wage, but neither can afford to put their child into nursery until the funding kicks in. So the January 2008 child starts after Easter and the June 2008 child starts in the September. If both children will start school in September 2012 one will have had just over 3 months extra valuable learning. Yes, the same rule applies to June 2008 child that they could wait until the following school year but in reality how many parents do that either because of wanting to keep their children with friends or due to cost?

I totally understand that there has to be cut off points for all of these things as the amount of ‘what if’ situations would be endless, but surely there has to be a fairer way. I think it is safe to assume that the large majority of children start school when they are 4, so maybe a fairer way to offer the funding could be every child is entitled from the summer term of the year before they start school, so every child gets around 18months? That way every child would get the same amount and maybe the younger ones in the year would be then better prepared for school?

There is never go to be quick fix solution to any of these issues, but something has to change & soon! Don’t forget to check out our petitions page for some links to e-petitions that we think are well worth a signature!

Modern World versus the Reality of Modern Living!

 

As a mum, wife & business women, my little boy is 16 months old going on 16 but I wouldn't change him for the world, the weeks are pretty chaotic balancing work, childcare, routines, housework & starting up a business with the husband. Some days I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, sleep  or eat.

My husband works from home so has the boy during day, balancing emails, voicemails, conference calls & nappies! Alex, my little boy sleeps for about an hour & half to two hours a day in which time my husband organises meetings, conference calls, emails etc.

Once the boy had gone to bed around 7pm my husband & I head into the office and normally spend a few hours working before either crashing on the sofa or in bed.  Our business is online so leans itself to non-traditional office hours.

Weekends are no different really, balancing emails, calls & meetings between walks, the park & playtime.

Childcare is a particularly challenging issue, with grandparents not close by. We juggle things quite well but as the boy gets older its more & more difficult.

It enrages me that my little boy is missing brilliant social & learning opportunities due to the ridiculous cost of childcare.  I'm mindful that he does not suffer the same shyness that I had as a child.  With the early years in my sons life being so crucial to form the basis of good education, morality, self-discipline and social integration – consistency, common sense and most importantly love is provided all of the time.

Surely in order for our children to success in our modern world we must arm them with the tools to cope; well-rounded & grounded individuals.

I feel that society judges “oh you work full time & have a child" it's like one is ok but surely you can't do both.  Should this not be the norm?

I feel like society is saying "surely you can’t be a great mother, your son must miss out" I’m happy that whilst the hoover may only make it out once a week, on a good week, and sometimes a bowl of cereal constitutes dinner - I'm a great mother!

The current world may claim to be modern, but how many workplaces offer childcare to mums and dads?  One third of UK companies, clearly the minority!

The government childcare voucher scheme is just a not acceptable. £243 a month, thank you that pays for just over a week - what happens to the rest of the month?  Surely we should be more encouraging of parents to earn a living and support their family – did hard work ever harm anyone?  My thoughts are very “black and white” but after the Government has paid benefits for parents able and wanting to work – couldn’t we contribute more towards childcare costs instead?

Referring to my earlier statement that childcare costs are ridiculous, on the flipside £44 a day to take the responsibly of my son is pennies for the privilege.  The responsibility of looking after someone else's child is a precious opportunity and should not be taken lightly - I truly believe childcare workers are saints!

Why are innovative, forward thinking companies not encouraging a better family life by introduction better childcare and crèche facilities?  Pensions, healthcare and cars appear to be the norm for remuneration packages but I believe that modern working mums & dads are worth providing improved childcare too.

I’m sure like others, living in a city centre means driving out of the city for the closest nursery facilities (probably due to rental costs or availability in the city centre) 

My ambition and aspiration is to provide crèche facilities, as standard, as well as pensions, catering, health & dental care to my team. Happy & healthy workers surely = greater productivity, loyalty and commitment?  Is our modern world work force worth the investment?

This brilliant guest post was written by Angela Matthews, please follow her on Twitter @AnjMatthews - Thank you! :o)

How to juggle business and children!

There is no getting away from it – when you are passionate about something – whatever that may be, it is all consuming.  It takes up your every thought from morning till night and you do everything within your power to give your passion wings and make it fly.

I am a Mum.  First and foremost.  And I LOVE it.  I never realised how much I would love being Mummy and 4 years after the birth of my first child, I am still waiting for the novelty to wear off.  I will be the first to admit that I am somewhat OTT but I honestly cannot get enough of my children.

9 months ago, I discovered a new passion – my company, dorothyandtheodore.com.  What started life as a casual conversation with my friend and now business partner Emma over coffee and cake one day, now absorbs the only bit of my brain which isn’t planning the next outing, adventure or stage of weaning!

As anyone who has started their own business will tell you, it takes two big things to make it successful.  Patience – something I have none of but I do my best and Emma is great at reining me in, and hard work.  The sleepless nights which are par for the course with new babies (I have 6 month old Belle in addition to 4 year old Dalton, and Emma has 8 month old Joshua in addition to 3 year old Sophie) that coincided with the launch of D&T were put to good use not only feeding and nurturing our newborns but also exercising our brain power in terms of the next day’s ‘to do’ list.

Now that we are up and running, the ‘to do’ list seems to get longer each day.  And at the same time, time is flying by and our babies are well on their way to being toddlers and our toddlers are only a matter of months away from going to school.  Time, which has always been precious, is increasingly at a premium, and as any new mum will tell you – flying by far too quickly.  So it is super important to be really disciplined about our time and our roles. 

For me, juggling being a mum and a director of my own company, it is all about zoning my time.  Family time is just that,  - no ‘doing a bit or just this odd job’ and no sitting the children in front on the TV to try and make a phone call – although of course if I’m honest – those occasions do happen once in a while – sometimes there is just no getting away from it.  And work time – which in my schedule is when the children are asleep or one’s asleep and the other’s at pre-school, is the time to concentrate and focus on the tasks which need to be done for D&T.  I confess that I find it hard to ignore the flashing light on the Blackberry telling me that there is a new email, and often ‘challenge’ myself not to go pick it up and then am delighted with myself when I realise that I had successfully completely forgot about the email due to other distractions.  But this approach does centre the work time so that you are, I believe, efficient and focused, and use your time wisely and effectively.

They say behind every great man is a great woman, and I have to say that in my case there is a great man behind this – wannabe  - great woman.  I could not do what I do without my hubby’s support and ever ready acceptance that I had not had chance to plan or cook his tea or got the washing done.  But with his support, a huge amount of dedication, and an even bigger desire to make my children proud of me and prove to them that anything is possible if you work hard, I think I do an ok job of juggling D&T and my priority – my children.  It’s not perfect – I am always burning the midnight oil and can’t remember the last time I just sat and watched telly, but I’m getting used to the lack of sleep and seeing my beautiful children every morning is enough to remind me to be the best person I can be, for me and for them.

Sally Hall is director and co- founder of www.dorothyandtheodore.com.  Where stylish and beautiful products for parents and child are practical too! Follow Dorothy and Theodore on Twitter too @DollyandTeddy :o)